


The Wolf Inside

by ChaosController



Series: Were-wolves Lurk and Darkness Creeps [1]
Category: Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 'marking', M/M, Panic Attack, Sleep Deprivation, Werewolf AU, Werewolf Creed, Werewolves in fiction - "The Howling" by Gary Brandner, angry werewolves are not to be trifled with, he takes care of others, i can't write panic attacks, like wolves and trees but biting and other facets, little bit of jealous anxiety, logan feels fear, logan is angry, logan isn't taking care of himself, only two of the four facets become werewolves, over-protective anxiety, personality traits can't turn other personality traits, self-neglect, semi-artistic logan, small breakdown, sorry if i got it wrong, thomas gets bitten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-23 07:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11398191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosController/pseuds/ChaosController
Summary: Being a half-werewolf has its upsides, but the downsides seem to outweigh all the positives.(Werewolf AU with a little Analogical)





	1. Night of the Compensation (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> I will add tags as the story progresses, but I will update every day. I might do the first two chapters today, but from here on out one per day. Love ya guys <3

“Here you go sir, just fill out these forms and we’ll get you all settled into your new life as a werewolf”, the receptionist said, awfully cheerful compared to the dark décor of the area around her. She smiled and handed Thomas the forms and the brunette began to look over the multitude of pages, filled with the black lettering and detailed listing of the code he now had to adhere by. He sighed softly as he imagined his logical side telling him to get on with it, his optimism telling him it would be fun, while his fanciful and anxious sides mumbled about how this was neither fun nor important. He chuckled softly as he began to read over the first page of the werewolf creed. His eyes skimmed the sections on dynamics of a pack as he didn’t have one and, unsurprisingly, never intended on having one. He might adopt, but there was really no point in it. He began to sign the first couple of pages when a question popped into his head.

“Excuse me miss?”, he asked politely, his face lifting from staring at the pages before him. “What would I have to do to get my own hunting ground?”

“Well”, the woman began, her smile becoming faker by the minute, “you don’t get one if you don’t have a pack. Whichever pack you’re from will have its own designated hunting ground and you’ll adhere to all pack rules within their hunting ground.”

“But…I don’t have a pack”, Thomas said, suddenly finding his fingers very interesting.

“You’ll join the pack of whichever werewolf bit you”, the woman said, her eyes landing on the sizeable scar that trailed down Thomas’ neck from his ear to his collarbone. 

“I don’t know which werewolf bit me”, Thomas said, pulling one hand away from its other and sliding it over the pale scar.

"Well, we can try and identify them using scent tracking. It’s customary and compulsory for all werewolves to get a scent-scan that inputs their scent into the database for future use”, the woman looked at him over her glasses as she said the words ‘future use’, Thomas swallowed and shivered as she did this, imagining all the things they could use his scent for.

The French manicured nails clacked on the keyboard as the woman pulled up the scent tracking database and opened a new search. “Let’s begin with the place you were bitten; area of the country and are of the body, this will help us lower our search risks as most werewolves don’t stray too far from their pack locations.”

“Well…I’m not exactly sure, but I guess it was a park near here, maybe a couple of blocks away and my bite was made on the left side of my neck”, Thomas stated, swallowing the excess saliva that had been building up as the questions began.

“Alright then, now for any smells you remember from the night, anything specific would help. Pine needles, sulphur, musk, earth, copper, anything you remember would be appreciated”, the woman said, her hand coming up to remove her glasses and clean them.

“I guess I remember the smell of blood before the attack, pine trees, uh…maybe the dirt that I landed on when the thi-…werewolf jumped at me and knocked me over”, Thomas said, his hand reconnecting with the one that had been rubbing his scar as his fingers pushed together and fiddled with each other out of nervousness.

“That’s not much to go on and I don’t really have any good matches right now…you might be a lucky case, meaning you’ll get your own hunting ground since we can’t find your pack. But that does mean you’re in charge of getting to it and from it and you must be careful around the public. Is there anyone you’d like to send information too? Parents? A spouse? Maybe a girlfriend or boyfriend you’d like to have this information communicated to?”

“No, only my family and close friends I guess. Will, I get…compensated for this?”

“Would you like to get compensated?”

“Of course, I would…wouldn’t you?”

“Some people take offence when they’re offered compensation, we add it in the booklet for people to look over, but most of the time we’re asked to keep our mouths shut about such matters.”

“Oh, well how do I get compensated?”

“Usually the werewolf that bit you would have to pay a hefty fine for biting someone who didn’t want to be bitten, but since we can’t identify your attacker the society will compensate you on their behalf and you’ll be entitled to a years’ worth of free hunting and supplies. You also don’t have to pay for registration since you were turned unwillingly.”

“How can you tell I was turned unwillingly?”

“You have a look about you that says, ‘I’m not made for pack life’. Most people who are new werewolves have it, but those who were bitten unwillingly have the heaviest bags under their eyes of any of them. You also seem honest so I believe you and most werewolves who bite their partners to turn them don’t go for the jugular. Too risky.”

“Oh, uh, thanks, I guess. For believing me and all.”

“No problem. Paperwork all done?”

Thomas started from his train of thought and looked down at the pen and paper that lay forlornly on the desk.

“Uh…”

“I’ll take that as a no, take all the time you need, but keep in mind that I finish my shift at twelve and it’s almost eleven.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realise what time it was.”

“No, it’s fine really. I shouldn’t have relied on the scent tracker. It’s not all that reliable, and you have to fill out a portion on the forms that are a lot like the questions I asked you.”

“Well, good to know that I’m prepared for one thing in here at least”, Thomas said laughing softly with the woman as she turned back to her computer and began to type again.

 

Later that morning Thomas walked out of the building a fully certified werewolf. He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, fiddling with his phone and keys as he walked back to the place he called home in the crisp autumn air. The leaves were beginning to cover the sidewalk and he shoved small piled out of his way, with the side of his foot as he went, feeling more satisfied than when he had left the Werewolf Society building. His eyes lingered on the muddy, leaf covered grass on the side of the concrete. He watched as the colours turned from green, to brown, to red, to yellow. Cycling through the small colour palette until a large section of mud intersected it and he glanced up to look at the park. There were a couple of kids playing on the metal slide, green paint peeling from the ladder they climbed to reach the peak of the slide’s height. His smiled turned to a frown as he recalled the night he was bitten in the park. He could almost feel the dirt on the side of his face and the pain in his neck. Thomas shook his head and pulled softly on the inside of his jacket pockets as he turned and began to walk quickly away from the park towards his home. He scanned the mailbox and fished out his keys, opening the door and closing it as fast as he could. He walked heavily over to the brown couch and slumped down into the comfortable cushions. His mind replaying the events of that fateful night his life changed forever and this morning that certified him as a werewolf and fate made sure he knew what he now was.

“Logan, Patton, Roman, Anxiety”, he mumbled to himself as his hands busied themselves with shedding the now unnecessary layer of clothing along with his shoes. 

“You called?”, a cold voice answered and Thomas turned his head to look at the logical side of his personality.

“Logan, where are the others?”, Thomas asked as he studied Logan’s rather dishevelled appearance.

“Anxiety and Roman are not feeling well today, Patton is seeing to it that they get better”, Logan said as he leant back against the railing of the stairs.

“No mind palace today?”, Thomas asked bemusedly as he pulled off his other shoe and tossed it gently towards the end of the couch, he’d pick it up later.

“Roman cannot summon the desired area because he is poorly. Is there something you wanted or did you just want to waste my time asking useless questions?”, Logan asked coldly, his arms crossing over his chest as he glared at his host.

“Sorry. Someone’s touchy today”, Thomas murmured as he sunk further into the couch.

“I apologise, I am merely tired. I did not sleep well the past few nights due to Roman and Anxiety’s sudden illnesses. They cannot be left unattended and Patton needed rest so I took over for him. Again, I apologise for my…cold attitude towards your sudden questions”, Logan said, his glare faltering and losing all heat behind the gesture.

“Forgiven. Do you know what’s wrong with them?”

“No, all my efforts to find an illness and cure have come up fruitless. It may be that they will have to fight this themselves.”

“Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Give them my best wishes”, Thomas said as Logan began to sink into the floor.

“Always”, came a soft reply as Logan vanished from sight.


	2. Last of the Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is ill and you will fall prey to illness, but seeing golden eyes in the dark will drive you mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with the first proper chapter kiddos :)

“He sends his best wishes”, Logan said as he reappeared in Thomas’ mind space. The sound of coughing louder now than before when he was speaking to Thomas.

“That’s nice of him”, Patton said airily as he stirred the fifth batch of soup and allowed his eyelids to droop in a tired manner. 

“Get some rest”, Logan said, his eyes following the usually lively facet as he moved around the kitchen in silence. 

“I have too much to do”, Patton murmured as he slowly spun to the soup and began to stir again, seasoning the concoction with a pinch of ground black pepper. Logan rolled his eyes as he walked over and took hold of the back of Patton’s polo shirt. He gently pulled the other away from the stove and to the optimistic man’s bedroom where he pushed Patton in gently and locked the door behind him.

“You’re not coming out until nine tomorrow morning. I expect you to sleep and rest while you’re in there”, Logan muttered, silently thanking any and all deities that Patton had forgotten that he could unlock the door from his side. He walked away from the door and down to the kitchen when he heard the sound of a bed creaking under the weight of a full-grown man. He pulled out an apron and began to work on the soup, adding salt and vegetables, stock and meat as he went. He hummed and moved fluidly gathering bowls, spoons and a platter to carry it all up on. He balanced out the dishes and filled them with the savoury smelling broth. With a smile, he added some tissue boxes, medicine and water bottles to the platters and walked up the stairs to Patton’s room. He opened the door softly and deposited the dish onto the small desk in his room. He closed the door and moved to Roman’s room. 

The royal personality’s eyes opening upon the intrusion. Logan smiled softly, pity filling his eyes as Roman coughed and blew his nose, attempting to sit up. Logan pushed him back down gently and pulled a chair over to the side of Roman’s bed. He spoon fed the soup to the personality who grumbled softly about how he shouldn’t be sick and how he should be the picture of perfect health. Logan just smiled and left another box of tissues along with a small bottle of water and some medicine on his table as Roman yawned and slipped back under the sheets. Logan closed the door and moved to Anxiety’s room. 

It was no surprise that he couldn’t see anything, but he somehow was able to make his way over to Anxiety’s bedside and sit down as gracefully as a ballerina. He watched as Anxiety slept and debated leaving when the dark facet woke. Anxiety looked him in the eyes and narrowed them in questioning. Logan smiled softly in reply and stood up, leaving the soup, tissues, medicine, and water on Anxiety’s bedside table. He moved out the same way he came in and closed the door softly. He walked down the hallway to the stairs and began to tidy the kitchen up.

Two hours of cleaning later and Logan was ready to sit in the hallway and answer the needs of the sick. He walked into his room and picked out a few of his favorite books before pushing his back up against the wall and sliding down it into a comfortable position. He yawned softly as he began to read an Agatha Christie novel and felt his eyes begin to tire. He closed the book and looked at his phone, twelve in the morning. He sighed softly and let his eyes close. 

A snuffling sound awoke him and his opened his eyes to almost complete darkness. He closed his eyes for a second and reopened them to two golden pinpricks shining in the dark. He closed his eyes again and opened them to the two golden quarters, shining in the gloom. He tried to comfort his heart as he closed his eyes and reopened them once more. The glow was gone and he breathed a small sigh of relief until he felt something sharp dig into his arm and he felt a whimper escape his lips. The lights above him were suddenly on and he glanced around for the creature. Nothing…except a rather sleepy and sickly-looking Anxiety and Roman. The pair watched him for a while before separating into their rooms and disappearing from sight. Logan sighed again and pulled his knees close as his eyes began to close again, the image of those golden eyes flashed through the darkness of his mind and his eyes tore open again. He huffed and stood up, knocking over the small stack of books he had put together. He bit his lip and messed with his hair as he tried to picture an animal, a shape, human or not, anything that could be connected to those haunting golden eyes.

 

The days passed slowly, Logan working harder than before to help the others. He would run up and down the stairs, Patton watching him intently for any slips from his position on the couch. Every time Logan passed a mirror he felt his body slow to inspect his arm. He hadn’t had a proper amount of time to check the supposed injury, but no blood was streaking down his arm, so he didn’t mind. He could feel Patton’s eyes drilling into the back of his skull as he raced down the stairs for the twelfth time that day. It was getting rather annoying, to say the least. Logan stopped in the kitchen and glared at the small pile of pots and pans in the sink. He began washing, stopping only when the stare became unbearable. He tilted his neck to the side and counted slowly, calming himself as a small crack resounded from his neck.

“Patton, is there something you need? I may be rushed off my feet, but if you require something of me I shall put in my best to have it done”, Logan said, turning his head to face Patton. Patton wore a worried expression and Logan felt his anger grow at the sight. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily, only now noticing how tired and winded he was. He swallowed and turned to grab a glass for some water. He filled the container and turned back around, back landing on the edge of bench. He took a long gulp of the clear, cold beverage before staring at Patton. “Is there something you need?”

Patton shook his head, eyes still locked on Logan. Logan frowned and began tidying up, glancing at the overworked persona every now and again. He sighed lightly as a coughing fit was heard from upstairs and he turned to make his way up the stairs, the thirteenth time he made a journey up the stairs.

Patton watched him leave, eyes lingering on the dark mark forming on Logan’s arm. He didn’t say anything because he was sure that it was one of them that had given Logan that bruise. He wasn’t sure if it was him or not, but the bruise looked painful. It must have been traumatic to have someone so close to him give him that. He didn’t say anything because of that. What if the bruise brought back memories Logan didn’t want to relive? Painful, mental scars that they could not afford to bring up right now. At this Patton sighed, he’d confront Logan about the bruise eventually, he just hoped the others showed the same tact. 

 

“Logan”, Roman began, his voice wrecked by the ailment, “have you been sleeping?”

Logan chuckled softly, of course, he hadn’t. He’d been swept off his feet by taking care of the others, sleep was a lesser priority at this point in time.

“You should sleep”, Roman said, his eyelids drooping with tiredness.

“I will”, Logan muttered.

“Good”, Roman said smiling as he finally fell asleep.

Logan watched Roman sleep, smiling at the fact that Roman had taken a page out of Patton’s book and was beginning to look out for others. It was good to see that somethings did change for the better. 

“You must be delirious”, Logan muttered as he got up and turned to the door, not noticing Roman’s eyelids slide open again, frowning as he left the room. 

 

Logan sighed as he entered his room. It had been such a long time he’d almost forgotten how the books looked as their coloured spines filled the bookcase, the crisp smell of the fresh pages, the waft of knowledge that surrounded the room like a mist. He sat down at his desk and closed his eyes listening to the still air around him and his own breathing. He searched the darkness of his closed eyes for nothing, until a flash of light caught his attention. He let his closed eyes drift to a pair of golden eyes. His eyes snapped open as he panted softly, the image fading. He sighed heavily and picked up a pen to write, but a few minuted late he found himself in the midst of drawing those golden iris’ in the darkness. He sighed, again, and picked up a new sheet of paper beginning to write again only to transform it into the same picture. He tried it again and again, but the same result persisted. He let the last page fly off his desk and watched as it fluttered to the ground, a small collection of pages covering a section of his floor. He swallowed and bent down on his chair to pick them up. He bit his lip as he turned them all over, the same golden eyes on each page surrounded by darkness. Each picture was different in its own way, one had the eyes only, another had the eyes in black and white, another still had one lone golden iris. He turned to the last page he had drawn on and had to swallow the bile that rose at the sight of the picture. An eyeball, with a golden iris, out of its socket, blood and viscera collecting and congealing underneath it. He almost ripped the page in half to get the sight out of his head, but he knew that the image would persistently stay with him until he died. He let the page drop from his hand and cursed Roman for giving him coloured pens and pencils for last Christmas. 

 

Anxiety knew better than to question Logan when the other was so pent up, tension oozing from every pore, dark bags under his eyes and the fakest smile he had ever seen Logan try to pull off. He sighed as he rolled over, the sickness had subsided and now he craved to get out of his bed and move around. He stayed where he was though, because if Logan caught him…Anxiety knew he couldn’t afford that, not when Logan looked about an inch away from snapping, cracking and all around breaking down. He would never admit it, but he worried for the other personas, even Roman from time to time. It was his job to worry, about himself and Thomas mostly, but the others always ran a close second. But Logan was his main worry now, the man was working himself into an early grave. He could tell the other wasn’t sleeping, and he assumed with all the attention he and Roman needed the other barely had time to eat, drink or take care of himself. 

Anxiety’s eyes wandered over to the sliver of light dripping in from the hallway outside his door. He sighed heavily and pushed his body up. He padded over to the door, feet heavy as he opened his door slowly and, as quietly as he could, walked out of his room and down to Logan’s. He bit his lip a little and opened Logan’s door with the utmost care. He looked at the inside of Logan’s room, the other persona seemed to have vacated the room. Anxiety took a step into the room and looked around once more, smiling at Logan’s rather impressive book collection. He was sure Logan wouldn’t mind if he borrowed one of his books. He smirked as his hand skimmed the colourful spines. He grabbed a book at random and turned around, stopping when he heard pages’ rustle beneath his feet. He looked down at all the pages left littering Logan’s floor. He figured that when he’d opened the door the force of the created air pressure had knocked the stack off the desk and onto the floor. He shook his head, he’d been spending too much time with Logan.

He bent down to gather the papers and noticed the dark blotch that was on the other side of the page. He turned it over and almost dropped the page. Two golden eyes peered at him from the darkness, so real it was as if they were right in front of him. He breathed and grabbed another page, this one had a golden iris, another had the first page’s image, but it was colourless consisting of greys, blacks and whites. He sighed as he gathered the pages, resigning himself to not look at another page. He placed the messy stack on Logan’s desk and hummed lightly, shifting them into a neater stack. He swallowed as he glanced around the room, a page on Logan’s bed caught his eyes. He neared the bed and looked at the crumpled page. He picked it up and turned it over dropping it as the image was pressed into his mind. It was a gory picture of a lone eye, golden iris shining on the page, blood and viscera surrounding the eye in a pool, the optic nerve curling into a mist at the edge of the page.

Anxiety fell back onto the floor, scrambling to grab the book and exit Logan’s room. He practically ran out of Logan’s room, not stopping to close the door as he heard footsteps on the stairs. He moved into his room and locked the door softly. He dropped the book to the floor and fled to his bed. He curled up as his door knob jiggled and a soft knock came from his door. He sighed as the footsteps moved further up the hall and into Logan’s room. Why would Logan draw something like that? He closed his eyes and fought a growl that was building. He tried to shake the eyes from his head as his breathing slowed. He looked at the book he had picked at random. He looked over the back cover and grimaced at the book he had chosen, “The Howling” by Gary Brandner stood out at him in red letters. He all but threw the book across the room and sunk into his bed grouchily.


	3. Answers for Wicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's health escapes out the window and keeps running...that's not coming back anytime soon.

Logan sighed as he sat down at the small table. He pulled out a copy of the Werewolf Creed Thomas had signed, it had occurred to him that Anxiety’s and Roman’s sickness might be due to Thomas’ becoming a werewolf. He had mulled it over before taking out the copy of the creed he had stored. He opened the large booklet and began to skim the rules, regulations, and reasons for being or becoming a werewolf. He flicked through the sections until he came across the section on becoming a werewolf, how it worked and what happened after. He skimmed it until he found the symptoms list. He scanned them and made a mental list of the different things. He closed the booklet and stood up, pacing the room as he thought about the matter and what it would mean for the small group. 

 

Patton watched Logan from the stairs, soon accompanied by Anxiety and Roman and the three watched as Logan ruffled his hair and threw glances at the stack of papers on the table. He was breathing heavily and looked terrible. His bags had grown exponentially in the past couple of days, his skin paler than Anxiety’s, his glasses, tie, and shirt were ruffled, messy and askew. He looked like death was knocking on his door and he looked even worse with the large bruise on his arm. The three glanced at each other before quietly moving off the stairs and into the kitchen. Logan muttered something about bites, the moon, and fur, but the others didn’t listen as they moved closer to watch Logan pace. Roman moved in a little too close and Logan bumped into his chest. Grimacing he looked at Roman before his eyes glazed over and he went back to pacing. Roman shrugged at the others and watched as Logan’s pacing course adjusted slightly so Roman was no longer in his way. Roman frowned and, when Logan came back his way, grabbed Logan’s shoulders and pulled the persona close to his chest. Logan struggled but eventually gave into Roman’s hug. Anxiety bit back a growl at the sight of Logan, dropping and allowing Roman to hold him up.

“You’re really light”, Roman muttered as Patton walked over to check on Logan’s health.

“How much have you eaten today?”, Patton asked, his hand coming up to cover Logan’s forehead.

“Dunno”, Logan slurred, his sleep deprivation finally catching up to him.

“Well, I see you didn’t take my advice to get some sleep”, Roman muttered. Logan hummed and smiled sleepily, eyelids drooping and closing a couple of times.

“Roman, take him to his room. He needs sleep and something to eat”, Patton said as he walked into the kitchen and began to gather ingredients for Logan’s first meal in a long time. Roman smiled softly and pulled Logan into a position he was comfortable with carrying the other in. As Roman’s hands shifted to under Logan’s knees and supporting his back, Anxiety took his cue to leave. Walking up the stairs he noticed Roman wasn’t following him. He turned to seen Roman with a worried expression on his face. 

“What?”, Anxiety asked roughly. 

“He’s so light. Like he’s made of nothing but feathers”, Roman said as he began walking over to Anxiety.

“So?”, Anxiety bit out, somewhat regretting it as Logan’s body shifted in Roman’s arms.

“So…I’ve picked him up before, he’s never been this light”, Roman said, moving his arms outwards as if to show Anxiety Logan’s body. Anxiety grumbled under his breath and gently took Logan out of Roman’s arms. He knew he wasn’t the strongest, but even he knew he shouldn’t be able to pick Logan up this easily. He pulled Logan’s body closer to his chest and almost growled at Roman when the other persona’s hand slid onto Logan’s forehead. 

“Patton?”, Roman called out softly, knowing the other would be good at determining illness, mental or physical.

“Yeah, sport?”, Patton asked as he walked over to the pair and the sleeping persona.

“Logan’s really light, too light”, Roman said, his hand coming off Logan’s head to grab Patton’s shoulder.

“I see, let me feel”, Patton said to Anxiety who begrudgingly handed over Logan’s body. Patton dipped a little under Logan’s body weight.

“Ah, he is lighter than before”, Patton said, handing the body back to Anxiety, who watched as Patton rubbed his arms. “But not by much. You two must be pretty strong if you can carry him with no problem.”

Anxiety glanced at Roman, who stared back until a whimper broke them out of their staring contest. Anxiety looked down at Logan as the body turned in his arms. Patton had stopped talking and was glancing worriedly between Anxiety, Logan, and Roman. Anxiety huffed softly and turned to take Logan up to his room, fearing the images of eyes that still lingered in his mind. He heard whispering behind him and ignored the loud gasp that one of the two behind him had let out. He pushed Logan’s door open and let his eyes linger on the now tidy desk, free of papers and writing implements. He moved lightly across the floor, stopping to lay Logan down on his bed. He stared at the sleeping persona a while longer and turned to leave, a whimper stopped him. He didn’t have the heart to leave, it was like something was pulling him to Logan. He sighed softly and turned to the other, kneeling down by the bed and taking one of the other’s hands. The warm fingers curled around his own as he pushed his back against the bed. He smiled softly and let his eyes drift closed, a little nap couldn’t hurt.

 

Logan opened his eyes and recoiled instantly. The lights were on in his room and there was something holding his hand. He looked down at a hand wrapped in his own. He gingerly sat up and looked down at the dark persona that sat against his bed, sleeping with a peaceful expression on his usually frowning face. Logan smiled softly and lay back down, turning so he could get more comfortable. He realized that to do this he would have to take his hand out of Anxiety’s grasp. He sighed softly and began to work his hand out of Anxiety’s grip. He stilled when the grip tightened and Anxiety stirred. Logan tried again, but the grasp tightened even more. He resigned himself to the idea of waking the sleeping persona. He sat up and gently grabbed Anxiety’s shoulder.

“Anxiety”, Logan said softly, gently shaking the other. Anxiety opened his eyes and looked at Logan.

“You’re awake”, he stated, rubbing his eyes with the back of his other hand. 

“Yes, may I enquire if my prehensile, multi-fingered organ will be released presently?”, Logan questioned, watching as Anxiety’s face changed from sleepy to somewhere between angry and grumpy. 

“Do you always talk so…what’s the word...fancily?”, Anxiety asked, glaring at Logan.

“My speech is perfectly normal. I just use a higher vocabulary than most of you”, Logan answered.

“Well to answer your question, no. I will not be releasing your peri…prehen…whatever you called your hand”, Anxiety muttered, leaning back onto the bed as he loosened his grip on Logan’s hand. 

“Prehensile, multi-fingered organ, you almost had it. But, I do require the use of my ‘hand’”, Logan said, looking down at Anxiety.

“For what? You need to, like, you know?”, Anxiety asked, his ears reddening in embarrassment.

“What are you referring to? I simply need to turn over and by holding my hand you are hindering that process”, Logan said, watching as the redness faded into a natural peach.

“Oh, right”, Anxiety said, releasing Logan’s hand and listening as the bed creaked softly under the movement. “I, uh, I’ll leave you to rest then.”

“Anxiety?”, Logan called as the dark trait opened the door. Anxiety turned his head as fast as he could manage and looked at the logical persona.

“Thank you”, Logan said sleepily as he finally drifted off back to sleep. Anxiety smiled and closed the door behind himself.

“Is he okay?”, Patton asked, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. 

“He’s…fine”, Anxiety said, his eyes landing on Roman as the other shifted to his other foot and looked at Logan’s door. Anxiety huffed softly and glared at Roman as he walked to his own room. 

“What was that all about?”, Patton asked Roman, the flamboyant persona glared at Anxiety’s closed door.

“Nothing important”, Roman murmured as he made his way to his own room. 

 

Logan opened his eyes and looked at the wall across from him. He sighed as he felt the force of being beckoned by Thomas. He sat up and stretched, feeling the tug lessen. He assumed the others had told Thomas he wasn’t up to it or something stupid like that. He stood and transported to the meeting.

“-is wrong…Oh, Logan. We didn’t expect you to come”, Roman said as Logan appeared in the living room with the others.

“What has he gotten himself into this time?”, Logan asked as he fiddled with his tie. 

“I haven’t gotten myself into anything. I was just going to tell you all that from now on I’m an official werewolf”, Thomas said, smirking in victory.

“Ah, that explains everything”, Logan said, hand finding his chin and rubbing it intently.

“Explains what?”, Patton asked, glancing between his host and Logan.

“It explains Anxiety and Roman’s sudden illness”, Logan said, lifting his head and switching between looking at Anxiety and Roman. “A side effect of Thomas’ new identity.”

“Then, why didn’t we get sick?”, Patton asked, looking confused as his eyes darted between Logan and Thomas.

“Well, one may assume that Thomas is not a full werewolf, or perhaps the werewolf section has not taken over his logic and optimism”, Logan said, frowning as he thought. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as half-werewolves, so it might be that the werewolf gene is not supposed to fully take over the brain and Anxiety and Roman just got stuck with it”, Thomas said, watching as Logan’s face turned from a frown to a grimace.

“That really doesn’t explain anything. For now, let’s just think on it. Roman, Anxiety, you two may have to stay in your rooms on full moons. We don’t want any…accidents”, Logan said looking at the two in question a sad smile flittering across his face before the frown returned. “Should we assume that we will have no influence over you during full moons?”, Logan asked pointing to himself and Patton.

“I don’t know, if you two didn’t get sick that might be the case”, Thomas said, his eyes following Logan’s hand movements.

“Well, this is just another reason that nobody will want us”, Anxiety put out, glaring at his host. 

“Oh, hush you”, Patton chided, frowning at the dark trait hands clasped in front of his chest.

“Darkside McSmudge-face has a point though”, Roman said, posing heroically as the others looked at him. 

“Darkside McSmudge-face?”, Anxiety questioned softly.

“I’m running out of ideas”, Roman murmured.

“Enough. We can still find someone. They might be harder to find, but we will find someone. Everyone finds something to love and we will be no different. We will find someone and when we do they will love us no matter what”, Logan said, looking around the room before looking at Thomas and smiling softly, the smile reciprocated by Thomas. 

“Great job kiddo”, Patton said, giving Logan a thumbs-up.

“I’m just illuminating what I was intended to do. It is the logical conclusion that Thomas will eventually find someone”, Logan said, his smile fading as he turned his face to Patton.

“I’m usually the passionate one”, Roman muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You can still be the passionate one, nothing’s going to change. Right, Logan?”, Patton asked as he eyed the reasonable trait. Logan swallowed and smiled softly at Patton.

“No, nothing’s going to change that.”

 

Logan pressed the pillow to his face, grimacing as his oxygen supply dropped a little. He sighed and pulled the pillow off, looking to his side to check the clock. He frowned at numbers displayed. 2:49 AM in the morning was not good. He knew that he’d tire eventually, but these sorts of things…these thoughts…this insomnia he was developing…he knew that eventually he others would notice. Notice he couldn’t sleep. Notice he wore concealer. Insomnia was becoming a regular partner of a night and early morning, but he could reason with himself that it was a good thing in some circumstances. He would reason that this new ‘habit’ would help him catch up on reading, writing, and getting ready for the next day. He could use the time to think deeper into issues that troubled him. He sat up and glanced at his desk, glowering at the mess of golden iris pictures on it. He sighed and got out of his bed deciding to do some more reading on the Werewolf Creed booklet he had been reading from the week before. He paused as a groan echoed through the hallway. He relaxed once he heard the sound of someone turning over in their bed and snoring began. He began to read making mental notes as he went. 

Logan finally flipped the last page of the creed and checked the clock. The digital numbers blinked at him as he read a 5 and two 2’s, 5:22 AM. He looked at the wall across from his bed and sighed heavily. He stood up and piled the pages into a neat stack. It had become more of a habit to draw the eyes than to call up insomnia and wait until daybreak with his new best bud. His life had become a mess and all he could do was hope for the best. He anticipated the worst-case scenario being Anxiety and Roman attacking Patton and himself during a full moon. Thomas wouldn’t be able to cope having only two traits. He’d be torn apart. Logan sighed as he walked to the largest part of free space in his bedroom and sat down. He closed his eyes and began to think.

Daylight was streaming through the window when Logan opened his eyes again. He listened to a yawn across the hall and heard the heavy thud of footsteps echo as Patton left his room to make breakfast. Logan sighed softly before he decided to get up and take a long shower. He needed to clear his head. As he neared his door an idea struck him. He raced over to his desk and checked his laptop for the lunar phases. He made notes on the full moons for the year and added the dates to his calendar. He picked out some clothes and took one last look at his open laptop calendar deciding to close it before he left.

 

After Logan’s shower, he left the bathroom guiltily knowing he had spent a good hour within the space after checking the clock. He retraced his steps to his room and deposited his old clothing. He grabbed his glasses and walked down the stairs into the living room. He was straightening his tie a little when he noticed the looks he was receiving from the other personas, even Anxiety had gotten up already and was sitting at the table, a rare occurrence. 

“Is something the matter?”, Logan asked his hands dropping to his sides as he looked around the room. Patton sighed softly.

“How was your sleep, kiddo?”, Patton asked a small, sad smile on his face as he asked.

“I slept well, thank you”, Logan said taking a seat between Anxiety and Roman as the two busied themselves with their breakfasts.

“Are you sure? By the way, I made pancakes”, Patton said, turning back to his frying pan.

“Of course, I’m sure. Is something wrong?”, Logan asked, his nervousness rising.

“Well, it’s just…”, Patton began, his head swiveling to look at Logan. “It’s just-”

“You look like you died”, Roman said, cutting Patton off, the latter glaring at him for the rude interruption.

“I do?”, Logan asked, looking at Roman as the persona cut his food.

“You look worse than TDG for brains over there”, Roman said, chewing on a mouthful of pancakes and syrup.

“What’s TDG?”, Logan asked as Patton handed him a plate of food and sat down opposite him.

“Three Days Grace”, Roman answered casually. Logan winced a little and stabbed his pancakes with his fork wondering what Roman was referring to, it struck him and he had to fight back the urge to let his eyes widen. He’d forgotten to put on concealer. There wasn’t any in the bathroom and he was so sleep deprived that he’d forgotten to grab some when he re-entered his room to drop off his clothes. He cut a small slice out of the pancakes and began to chew on the food. He must look terrible to be compared to Anxiety. The dark trait put on layers of eyeshadow to make his bags bigger and darker. To be called worse…he must look terrible. No wonder they had stared. No wonder they had asked about his sleeping schedule. He fumed at his irresponsibleness and forgetfulness, cursing his memory and mind.

“I’m sure I don’t look that bad”, Logan muttered, immediately regretting it as everyone’s eyes focused on him.

“Don’t look that bad? You look like heck, Logan”, Patton said worriedly, his mouth downturned with sadness.

“I assure you it’s not that bad. I merely had a late night”, Logan said as confidently as he could while giving the persona opposite him a soft smile.

“Looks like you had more than one”, Anxiety muttered, finally speaking and glaring at Logan.

“You can believe whatever you want, but I can guarantee you it will not be happening again”, Logan said firmly, looking at Anxiety with cold eyes.

“Logan…you know you can talk to us, right? We’d understand. We’ll understand anything”, Patton said, smiling sadly as Logan’s face turned to him. Logan felt terrible. He felt betrayed, angry, hurt. They were calling him stupid. They were calling him weak. They were treating him like a baby. He was an adult. A strong, independent, logical, resilient, intelligent-

Logan stood up abruptly and walked out with a small ‘thank you for the food’. He disappeared up the stairs and into his room. Patton sighed.

“Did I push too hard?”, Patton asked as he let his body crumple.

“No, he just needs time”, Roman murmured as his eyes left the stairs and traveled to Logan’s uneaten plate of food. His eyes wandered to Anxiety, who still watched the stairs as if he thought Logan may reappear and say that he was joking, that everything was fine. Three hours later, he still hadn’t come back from his room.


	4. A Panicked Wolf is an Unstable Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger and fear. The brothers linked by sorrow and the demise of happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning if panic attacks trigger you. I also sincerely apologise that this wasn't up sooner. It was meant to be up a few days ago, but I made a mistake and I've had to go back and fix it. I hope it's still to your liking <3

“I don’t think we can continue like this.”

“Prince Princess-less’ right”, Anxiety said, for once agreeing with Roman. The pair stayed quiet as Patton sighed and Thomas’ head dropped to look at the floor.

“Logan’s tearing us all apart”, Roman said uncomfortably, his face contorting in fear. “He can’t sleep. Won’t talk and we have no idea how to help without him getting mad at us.”

“What do think we should do?”, Patton asked, looking around the room before looking at Thomas.

“I really don’t know. Logan would be the one to tell you, but he’s not here and he’s the one at risk”, Thomas bit his lip, looking out at the small group of personas. “Maybe you’d be best off asking him.”

“You think he’d tell us about an issue this big without telling us false information. He’s in a slump and he doesn’t want help to get out. Why would he tell us how to get him out?”, Roman said incredulously, his arms crossing over his chest and his eyes narrowing towards his host. 

“You could disguise it. Make it so it seems like you’re asking for something else”, Thomas said.

Roman huffed and looked at Patton and Anxiety. “We thought that maybe you’d be able to talk to him for us, since he’ll listen to you. He won’t to us, but he will to you.”

“That can be the last resort if nothing else works”, Thomas supplied, running a hand through his hair at the implications.

“I’m sure everything will work out, right kids?”, Patton asked, a fake smile on his face as his eyes switched between Roman and Anxiety. 

“Right”, Anxiety muttered, a frown on his face, his eyes landing on the spot Logan usually stood when they had these meetings.

Logan paced his room. He had figured they’d come to him after their meeting finished. They may think he isn’t aware of their little plots, but he was. Asking Thomas to talk to him, idiots. He’d work around this. He always did.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. Light, two knocks, a second long. Patton was here. He’d figured out their knocking patterns since they all came by his room so frequently now. Patton had a timid knock, Anxiety’s was rushed and a little heavier, Roman’s was royal, more important sounding with a heavy tone. Roman’s was the loudest of them all. Logan knew what to do from their different knocks, whether to feign sick, feign ignorance or tell them to go away. He’d perfected his tone and attitude towards the different facets and knowingly hid a smile when he was able to fool them.

“Logan?”, Roman’s voice came from the other side of the door. Logan stopped his pacing. He could have sworn that it was Patton that had knocked on the door. Maybe his hearing was failing him.

“We need to talk, kiddo”, Patton’s voice said. Now it made sense. He’d have to change it up if both Patton and Roman were there, even more if Anxiety happened to be out there. He began to think of a way out, crossing out theories and ideas until only a few remained. He didn’t even hear the lock on his door clicking open and the infamous line, ‘we’re coming in’.

Logan started when a pair of arms draped around his shoulders and held him tight. He stopped breathing for a second before the smell of roses and mint brought him back to reality. He almost sighed at Roman’s insistence on physical contact. He fought it off and steeled his nerves.

“I would ask you to let me go now…please”, Logan asked, his face shifting quickly from disgust to a neutral facade. 

“Sorry”, Roman muttered as he let Logan go, allowing the logical persona to dust his shirt off. “I got worried and just…well…”

“I understand”, Logan murmured as he turned away from Roman and Patton, looking at the single window his room possessed. 

“You know, Logan, we are worried”, Patton said quietly, playing with the sleeves of his cardigan. Logan felt the exasperated sigh welling up again. He forced the feeling down, if he could squash it completely he would have.

“Even Anxiety’s worried”, Roman tried, a small, twitchy smile flickering on his face. Logan felt something else well up inside of him, was it…laughter? He hadn’t felt that in a long time. They’d never hear him laugh, but he knew that he could have if he had tried. Just…let go of all of this torture and…let go…

“Logan?”, Patton asked, biting his lip. Logan turned to the optimistic trait and watched him fiddle with his cardigan. “Please…talk to us.”

“One day, perhaps”, Logan murmured as he turned back to the window. A small smile forming slowly as the air chilled.

“Logan, please…it’s…it’s not just that we’re worried…whatever’s going on with you…it’s…hurting us. All of us”, Roman said, frowning at Logan’s turned back.

“I apologise, my feelings have been getting the better of me”, Logan said softly, eyes still on the window, even as Roman approached him.

“Logan, whatever is going on it needs to stop. And we can’t help you unless you tell us”, he said, taking hold of Logan’s shoulder and gripping it tightly.

“I already apologised, what more do you want of me?”, Logan asked icily, his eyes hardening on the window.

“We want you to talk to us”, Roman pursued, puling Logan’s shoulder towards himself and making Logan’s body turn with it.

“I don’t feel like expressing my emotions in words at this point in time”, Logan spat venomously. Glaring at Roman as the other stared into his plastic covered eyes.

“Well, too bad. You’re doing it”, Roman said back, just as venomously. His eyes hardening to match Logan’s ice-cold glare.

“I don’t feel like it”, Logan hissed, pausing between his words for emphasis.

“Too bad”, Roman hissed back, mocking Logan’s pauses by adding his own.

“Get out of my room”, Logan muttered softly.

“No”, Roman said firmly, tightening his grip on Logan’s shoulder.

“I told you to get out. I will not ask again”, Logan said louder, grabbing Roman’s hand and squeezing it hard in his own. Roman winced as he heard his bones pop from the exertion.

“Fine”, he finally said, his words making Logan release his fingers. “But we will have a talk eventually.”

“Naturally”, Logan muttered turning to once again observe the window.

“Goodbye, Logan”, Patton said as Roman stormed out of the door, leaving Patton to close it.

“Goodbye, Patton”, Logan muttered once the door had closed and the footsteps had faded. He finally let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders trying to loosen his muscles. He walked over to the window and let a hand come up to the cold glass. Fingers slid across the surface as a storm brewed. He bit his lip and brought his other hand up to tangle in his hair. He could get through this. He’d be better soon. And when he was better…they’d all be happy.

He growled. Watching as the other two descended the stairs, depressed looks on their faces. Anxiety felt the growl rise in tone as his hackles rose with it. He stood up abruptly and glared at the two as they stared at him. He sneered and marched over to them, around them and up the stairs to face Logan. He couldn’t help but feel a burst of rage as he neared the door. The flames of anger licking his insides, igniting his senses. He growled louder as he stood in front of the door. He brought a hand up to knock loudly, not noticing how hard exactly he had knocked. He gripped the handle and all but slammed the already splintered door open. He growled again as his eyes zeroed in on Logan. The same Logan that upon seeing him yelped, dropped to the floor and quickly shuffled away from him. Anxiety walked forward, stopping when Logan whimpered and the shaking of the other became more noticeable. He looked into Logan’s eyes watching as fear and panic flashed quickly in the brown depths before they became closed to him. Anxiety shifted over to Logan slowly, watching carefully as the shaking increased ever so slightly, his breathing came out in short puffs, his skin flushed, and he curled up tighter. Anxiety opened his mouth to speak to the other before a wave of fear crashed over him from the shaking trait.

“Logan?”, his voice was scratchy at best, but still somewhat recognisable. Anxiety bit his lip softly as he held a hand out to the other. “What’s wrong?”

When he touched Logan, he felt the fear again, but this time it was stronger. It wasn’t until he snapped out of the small daze the fear had swept him into, that he noticed the small sobs and wide eyes that Logan bore. His breathing was unsteady and heartbeat erratic. Anxiety quickly became worried. He opened his mouth to talk to Logan again, shutting it when he realised he had no idea what he was doing. His first response was to call Patton. The optimistic trait was next to him in minutes. He heard something mumbled. ‘Attack’ and ‘panic’ were thrown around a bit and Roman was on his other side in seconds. He couldn’t take his eyes off Logan even when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and he was pulled back. His eyes landed on Patton as he slipped down beside Logan and told him to breathe in and out in five-second fragments. As Logan’s breathing began to even the tears began. Anxiety felt the need to wrap his arms around Logan. He fought against Roman’s restraint on him. He felt the arms disappear and watched as Roman rushed forward, approaching slowly, iris’ a haunting silver. Roman dropped to his knees and wrapped an arm around Logan’s quivering form. Hushed words were exchanged as Anxiety took a seat in front of Logan, pulling his knees up to his chest. Logan seemed to have calmed down and his eyelids slid over to close his eyes off.

After an hour or so Roman glanced at Patton and nodded softly at the optimistic trait. The nod was returned and Roman stood up, grabbing Anxiety’s arm softly and pulling the other out into the hallway. 

“Patton and I don’t think this will be an isolated incident. We’d prefer if you calm down and stay away from Logan when you’re mad”, Roman said softly as he and Anxiety descended the stairs.

“But...”, Anxiety’s words trailed off, unable to think of any reason to argue. He let out a puff of breath and turned to the couch, slumping into a comfortable position and pulling his hood over his head, eyes and mouth.

“Anxiety. I’m sorry. It may seem harsh, but it feels like the right thing to do at this point in time”, Patton said as he appeared on the stairs. Anxiety sighed and slipped further back into the couch. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll get better. I’m honestly not sure what scared him so much”, Patton reassured Anxiety as he dropped onto the couch next to the dark trait. 

“Maybe it was his face”, Roman muttered as he too dropped onto the couch.

“Roman”, Patton chided softly, a soft smile returning to his face. Anxiety fought back the small smile that slipped onto his face as well. He thought about the idea and remembered the golden iris’ that burdened Logan so much. Did he remind Logan of those eyes?

Logan tensed as he awoke in his bed. He didn’t remember getting here, all he remembered was those haunting golden eyes, and the angry growling. So much growling. Whatever it was, it was after him. He knew that he was being foolish, but he couldn’t help but fear those golden eyes. He looked over at his desk and frowned at an open book. It had a blue and white cover, medical book he supposed. He rolled over and moved into a sitting position on his bed. He swung his legs over and walked towards his desk. He turned on the small light and glanced over the page. ‘Panic Attacks’, had he been reading about that? He couldn’t remember. He sat down and filtered through the words on the page. The information was new, but nothing he hadn’t already read before. He paused his reading and closed his eyes. He began to remember staring out the window. Then Patton and Roman came to him and they talked, the faces and words were blurry and difficult to remember at best, but he kept pursuing his forgotten memories. They left and then there was growling, a knock, the door was slammed open, then Anxiety walked in, growling…and with…golden eyes. Logan stopped breathing for a second and gripped his chest with one hand, the other running through his hair. It must be a side effect of being a werewolf. He turned to look at his door, slightly splintered and broken from Anxiety’s newfound strength. He swallowed as he opened his laptop and looked at his calendar. The first full moon was tonight. He frowned as his hands trembled. He’d have to talk with Anxiety before tonight. They had so much to discuss.

Logan walked out of his room at around 4:00 pm. He steeled his nerves as he listened to the TV blare. He trudged down the stairs, tackling them two at a time until he reached the bas. He took stock of the room and noticed that Anxiety was the only one down here. He watched Anxiety as the dark trait’s head turned to him. They looked at each other for a while until a loud bang resonated around the room from the TV. Anxiety blinked and turned his head back to the TV, biting his lip as blood splattered on the screen. Logan walked over and sat down next to Anxiety, curling up on the couch and tuning into the bright images that flashed across the TV screen. Anxiety let his body loosen a little as Logan stayed quiet throughout the show. 

Once the show had ended Anxiety felt the air still. He turned the volume down as an intro song began to play and tilted his head to look at Logan. The logical trait’s expression was blank, eyes watching the screen but not taking in any of the images or dialogue. Anxiety shifted and watched as Logan’s body tensed, eyes still blank but body ready to run.

“Logan?”, Anxiety asked, shifting away from the other to give him more room, watching for any loosening of tensed muscles. Logan hummed in response, finally seeming to snap out of his trance.

“Are you okay?”, Anxiety asked, cursing himself for asking a stupid question.

“I’m well, thank you. Are you?”, Logan asked politely, turning his head to look at Anxiety.

“Yeah, yeah…I’m fine”, Anxiety said, glancing back at the TV as the air stilled again. “Why’d you ask?”

“There’s a full moon tonight. This will be your first transformation since Thomas got bit”, Logan supplied, his eyes glued to Anxiety as the other sighed softly and thought for a moment. 

“I haven’t really thought about it all that much. Too much pressure”, Anxiety muttered as his eyes focused back on the TV.

“What are you going to do?”, Logan asked, his eyes moving to the TV screen, blinking a couple of times as a quiet fell between the two.

“I’ll lock myself in my room”, Anxiety murmured. Pulling the sleeves of his two-tone hoodie over his hands and playing with the cuffs as his eyesight focused in on his hands, rather than the TV.

“Are you sure that’s wise?”, Logan asked, glancing sideways at the dark trait with a concerned look on his face.

“Why? Something wrong with it?”, Anxiety asked back, glaring at his hands as his fiddling intensified.

“No, I thought you may want to spend the night in something more secure, something that didn’t house all of your favourite things that could be easily destroyed”, Logan muttered as he glanced towards the kitchen, pouting a little to add effect. Anxiety tensed as the thoughts of destroying the small things he kept flooded his mind.

“Where’s better?”, he finally asked, reluctantly letting Logan know he’d won.

“I’d suggest either the living room or the bathroom. Either way, you’d have to share with Roman”, Logan said, turning back to Anxiety with a small smile.

“Why did it have to be that idiot?”, Anxiety murmured, pulling his hood over his head more, covering his entire face. Logan chuckled, smiling at the action. He rubbed his cheeks at the feeling of heat in them. He hadn’t smiled in ages, well that wasn’t true, but he hadn’t used a smile this big in ages. Logan managed to shift into a more comfortable position before he returned his eyes to the screen. Anxiety smiled under his hoodie. He peeked out at Logan and was pleased to see the large smile that adorned the logical persona’s face. He let out a silent breath at the sight of a real smile, nothing fake like the other Logan had used. He liked this turn of events. A pleasant change from the past.

“I suppose I could…you know…waste my time with Prince sing-a-lot. But after tonight we’re making changes. I don’t want to be stuck with him for an entire night by myself”, Anxiety said, the hint of a smile coming out as he spoke.

“We’ll find some way. Maybe if you and Roman can calm your werewolf selves, Patton and I could spend the night with you two”, Logan suggested. Anxiety’s smile turned into a Cheshire-like grin. A night with the four of them, the three would wear themselves out quickly and then he’d be free to roam the house. Maybe watch some TV alone.

“We’ll see”, Anxiety muttered, his grin slipping a little into a more comfortable smile.

“I suppose so. We have about two hours before the sun sets. Perhaps we should do a debrief with Thomas before his first night”, Logan proposed, looking at Anxiety before he stood up.

“Yeah, I guess”, Anxiety murmured as the couch groaned under his shifting body. He got out of the crease and stretched, yawning as the lights turned on and the other traits walked down the stairs.

“We thought that we should talk to Thomas before the kiddo turns tonight”, Patton said, smiling at the other two.

“We had the same idea. Shall we?”, Logan asked, looking around at the two smiles and one almost-smile.

“Let’s go”, Patton’s voice said as they disappeared in a haze of black and grey.


	5. First Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first transformation is always the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support <3

“Ah!”, Thomas yelped as four identical faces popped up from the floor.

“We’re sorry to so suddenly pop up on you, Thomas. But we thought it might be worth a trip to see how you were progressing and taking this…transforming business”, Logan mused as he sank into place by the stair banister.

“Oh, uh…it’s nice to see you all. Yeah, no, um…I’m doing well. I think I have this under control”, Thomas said, smiling at Logan. Anxiety let out a huff and quickly built up an argument that would make that smile disappear. 

“Oh really”, he began, watching with happiness as Thomas’ smile faded and his host looked at him.

“Please not today, Anxiety”, Thomas pleaded, clasping his hands together and looking at the dark trait. Anxiety almost smirked at his host’s distress. This would teach him.

“Are you sure you have all of it under control?”, Anxiety asked, a small smirk slipping onto his face as Thomas’ head dropped to look at the floor.

“What do you mean? He has everything under control, he already said that”, Roman said, frowning at Anxiety. Anxiety’s eyes crinkled at the thought of destroying both his host’s and Roman’s happiness and security.

“Does he really? What about a secure place for tonight? I mean, what if another werewolf comes out of nowhere and bites him again, what then? We fight them off and we die trying. Whoopee end of Thomas”, Anxiety said sourly, grimacing at Roman’s indignant gasp.

“I won’t die…I have my own hunting ground and everything”, Thomas said, watching as his darker side’s eyes flashed and turned to look at him. He knew he shouldn’t push the other so Thomas stayed silent, apparently Roman didn’t get the memo though.

“You heard Thomas, everything’s under control and you have a broken argument”, Roman said smirking at Anxiety. Anxiety looked at Roman, who’s eyes wandered around the group, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Anxiety fought the urge to growl as Roman’s eyes lingered on the space next to the stairs. He could feel the anger rising, pushing at his heart and mind. All he could think about was ripping that stupid smile off Roman’s face. Oh, how he’d enjoy that. He felt his eye twitch and a small gasp from Patton that was quickly quietened by Anxiety’s turn to him. Patton looked into Anxiety’s eyes and made a gesture towards his own plastic covered eyes. Anxiety felt his breath catch as he closed his eyes. He refused to let the others see the abnormal colouration of his new eyes. He pulled his hood down and almost jumped a foot when a hand landed softly on his shoulder.

“Anxiety? Are you alright? You look like you’re in pain? Is the transformation beginning?”, Logan asked in a concerned tone. Anxiety blushed slightly as Logan removed his hood and held a cool hand to his forehead. He almost opened his eyes, but felt the need and squashed it down as much as he could. He swallowed and waited until the closeness disappeared and he felt the cold air of the apartment on his skin. He opened his eyes slowly and watched as Logan approached Roman and began checking for signs on the royal figure. Anxiety felt his eyes burn, his stomach twist and his hands clench as Logan leaned in close. A small growl was ripped from his throat as Logan leaned in too much and Roman held his hips to support the other. A hand landed on his other shoulder and the werewolf looked over at Patton, who gestured to his mouth. Anxiety brought up a hand and felt two spikes of enamel poking out from underneath his upper lip. His tongue danced over the long canines and he felt fear grab at his heart. His head bolted up at the sound of movement. He focused his attention on the floor, quickly glaring at Roman as he did so. A hand danced softly over his shoulder before Logan went back to his spot, stopping short as he remembered Thomas was also a werewolf. 

“How are you feeling Thomas?”, Logan asked, watching Thomas smiled at him.

“I’m fine, Logan. I don’t think it’s time yet”, Thomas said reassuringly.

“You sure slugger? We can stay for a bit longer if you want, kiddo”, Patton said, smiling softly at his host.

“I’m fine you guys, seriously. Maybe you should get back and settled in. It might be a rough night with Roman and Anxiety being part of this as well”, Thomas reminded the four.

“He’s right. We should go back and get you two into a more comfortable space to transform and…you know, be werewolves”, Logan said, a small smile slipping onto his face as he eyed Thomas. Anxiety huffed and left quickly. He needed to think. Roman followed with Patton and Logan after giving Thomas a little salute.

 

“Are you comfortable?”, Patton asked as he hovered around the bathroom door. 

“We’re fine, Monochrome Michael over here is sulking in the corner, but we should be good from now until sunrise”, Roman said from the other side of the door.

“Try not to kill each other”, Logan said as he slid a chair under the door handle so the two couldn’t escape.

“We’ll…well…I can’t promise anything”, Roman said indignantly, crossing his arms as Patton giggled softly.

“Don’t say that. Try and we’ll see what havoc you two have wrought in the morning”, Logan murmured as he backed away from the door and checked his watch. 27 minutes left.

“See you in the morning”, Patton said, disappearing down the hallway and ducking out of sight as he walked down the stairs.

“Good night you two”, Logan muttered. He began walking away when a small whimper made him stop, he turned around and looked at the door as a howl, both human and inhuman at the same time, ripped through the air. He shivered as the door shook and something behind it shook the handle a few times. Then there was quiet, a silence falling over the hallway, thick and heavy.

Logan swallowed and shivered once more, retreating down the hallway and not looking back until he reached the stairs. He sighed and watched the door for a few minutes before he walked down and snuggled up on the couch with Patton. They would get through this, he thought as his vision faded into darkness and another howl ripped through the air.

 

Anxiety watched Roman’s frightened face as pain rippled from his bones outwards. He fell to his knees as a howl was ripped from his lips. He gripped his head and growled. Looking over at Roman he saw the bones in the flamboyant persona twist, crack, break and reform until a werewolf body stood feet away from where he was experiencing his own transformation. He listened to the growls and howls and closed his eyes, gritting his teeth together as the rustle of hair and fur came closer. He felt a nose bump against his own swiftly changing form. Something in him was telling him to just let go, let the transformation continue, to not fight it and let it go. He felt his consciousness fade as his body hair grew longer into a thick coat of fur.

He opened his eyes. A silver eyed werewolf with brown fur sat before him. It whimpered softly and he pulled himself up into a sitting position slowly. He looked around at the white, sterile walls. There was a piece of wood barring him from escaping. He frowned as best he could as lifted his nose into the air. He could smell it. Meat. It was strong, tinted with something else, something not quite prey, not quite wolf. He opened his eyes and looked at the silver eyed wolf. It had gotten up and was sniffing the large piece of wood. He walked over and sniffed at it too. He looked at the other wolf, there was no denying they had to get out. How he wasn’t quite sure. He felt something in the back of his mind telling him that going out was bad. Going out would mean trouble. He ignored it. He scratched at the wood. A huff from behind him made him bristle slightly, he stepped out of the way in time for the silver eyed one to ram its body into the wood. He listened for a while, watching with some humor as the other rammed into the wood again and again until he heard something move from the other side of the wood. Something metal maybe. He nosed at the silver eyed wolf that had collapsed to the floor, panting at the exertion. He stood in front of the wood and pushed his body up so his front paws were pushing against it. He leaned forward and felt the wood being pushed open by his force.

He smiled as the wood came away completely leaving a hole in the wall he could easily walk through. He sniffed at the floor and let the smell of meat waft over him. He followed the smell, nose in the air until he reached a slope. The slope had indentations coming out of it. He tested it with one paw and, upon deciding that it was stable, began a slow descent. Until the silver eyed wolf sped past him down the indented slope. He jumped down the rest of the slope and landed on the ground below. The meat smell was stronger than before and the duo licked their lips with anticipation. He crouched low and growled at the large brown mass that smelled of prey. He heard rustling watched as something pink appeared from the mass, then more of it appeared. The two wolves moved back growling as something emerged from nothing. 

A yawn pierced the air as Patton threw his blanket off and rubbed his tired eyes. He opened them and looked at two blurry shaped in the dark, one had two silver dots the other two golden dots. He smiled sleepily as two wolves came into focus, then realized what was happening and screamed. The wolves ran towards the couch as Patton shook Logan from his sleep and dragged him forward as the two wolves pounced. Logan gasped and the pair ran up the stairs towards Logan’s bedroom. Logan stopped momentarily as the sight of his door came into view in the darkness. He sighed as they changed course and went to Patton’s room with the non-splintered door. They closed the door and locked it, shoving a bookcase in front of it along with Patton’s bedside table and desk chair. The pair breathed a sigh of relief and Logan checked his watch. The numbers indicated that it was past midnight, but not by much. They’d have to wait six hours at least.  
“We’ll be in here for a while. Might as well get some rest”, Logan muttered as he picked up one of Patton’s many decorative blankets and swaddled himself into a cocoon of warmth.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep up here?”, Patton asked, patting his bed.

“No, I’ll be fine here”, Logan murmured as he looked out the window and watched the stillness and blackness of the outside. A loud bang on the door startled them and Logan heard Patton whimper. 

“Alright”, Logan muttered as he moved to the bed and sat down on the side of it. Patton wrapped an arm around his arm and clung to him, a terrified expression painted on his face.

“Will they…will they eat us?”, Patton asked softly.

“No, no they won’t”, Logan said softly, smiling down at Patton until the other dozed off. Logan listened to the thuds from outside the door, his eyes moving to it when the thuds stopped and a whimper echoed through followed by a howl. He covered Patton in his blanket and pulled his knees up to his chest. Sniffing as his eyes zeroed in on the door. He felt sleep try to take over him, but he fought it off until it seemed only natural that he wouldn’t sleep. He watched the door until a faint light glistened outside. Streaming steadily through the window as day broke. Smiling softly Logan felt sleep finally win as Patton yawned and stretched beside him.

“Night”, he muttered as he dropped to the bed limply and a chuckle ran through his mind.

Patton smiled as he got up and began moving objects away from the door. He opened the door only to close it immediately when two wolves growled at him from the other side. He tried in vain to close the door, pushing and pushing against the wood that wouldn’t budge with the two snouts jammed in it. Patton felt tears welling in his eyes and streaming down his face as the door was pushed open by the two wolves. 

“Patton. Don’t move”, a steady voice came from the bed. Patton listened and waited, his breathing coming out short and unsteady.

“Breathe and listen to me”, the voice said, clam and comforting. “I’m going to jump off this bed and when I do I need you to run towards it and jump on it. You got that? Good.”

Patton didn’t even nod his head, but the sweat that was beginning to accumulate was enough to make up his mind for him. He swallowed and dove back onto the bed as Logan jumped off and behind the pair of wolves. The golden eyed one turned on him instantly, running after him as Logan dodged the fallen picture frames. Patton shifted nervously as the silver eyed wolf growled. He sighed softly and prayed that Roman would forgive him. He stood up on the bed and grabbed his lamp, holding the heavy end out in front of him waiting for the wolf to pounce.

Logan jumped over the banister and into the living room, shuddering as his ankle twisted. The adrenaline pumping through him was enough to make him not feel the pain as much, but the dull ache was still there. He limped until he could run and moved towards the kitchen. He jumped over the counter into the living room again and raced up the stairs the golden eyed wolf hot on his tail. He rammed himself into Roman’s room and locked the door behind him. A bang on the door knocked him away from it and onto the floor as the door was rammed again and again. Logan grabbed the nearest object he could and held it out in front of him as he got to his feet. He bit his lip as the door burst open and the drooling wolf eyed him angrily. He swung the object at the wolf making it back off slightly. He sighed as he swung, again and again, making the wolf back up until it was outside the doorframe and in the hallway. Logan stopped swinging and glared at the wolf. The wolf glared back and raised its hackles. Logan felt the world still as the wolf jumped at him. He felt his back slam against the carpet, his body still, a sharp pain in his neck and then nothing. He grimaced as a loud crack came from the wolf. He watched as the wolf howled in pain and its fur shrank back into normal sized hairs for a human body. Its bones reformed into a human skeleton and Anxiety looked up at him from his position atop the logical persona. 

It took seconds for Anxiety to figure out that Logan was unresponsive. Anxiety got off the persona and proceeded to watch the other blink, mouth open slightly, for a few minutes until Logan’s world finally caught up and yelped in pain. Anxiety winced as Logan moved away from him, backing into the bed and slapping a hand over his new, bleeding bite mark. The shaking hand came away slowly, drops of blood splattered on the skin of Logan’s palm. Anxiety felt something in him shrink back at the sight of Logan hurt and by him no less. He swallowed heavily and crawled forward slowly until Logan’s head snapped up and Anxiety could see small rivulets of blood flowing down into the black fabric of Logan’s polo shirt. He stopped short as Logan’s breath became heavy, uneven. He raced forward in a panic and gripped Logan’s face between his hands, making the trait look into his eyes. He could feel the betrayal coming off Logan in waves. It hurt him that the other had been injured because of him. He could feel his heart accelerate, sweat beginning to form on his forehead and back. His breath came out in small pants as his vision blurred slightly. He stopped fidgeting when a hand took hold of his wrist. He fought the instinct to jerk back at the touch. 

Logan looked at Anxiety. The dark trait was hyperventilating because he had assumed Logan was angry, upset at his behavior.

“Anxiety, listen to me. Breathe with me”, Logan asked in a shaky voice, the golden eyes of the persona opposite him flashing with fear and sadness. They stayed in the same way for a while until Logan’s tears had dried and Anxiety’s breathing patterns had smoothed out into something resembling a calm intake of breath.

“I…sorry”, Anxiety muttered as he pushed himself back and looked down at the floor.

“It’s fine. I’ll be okay Anxiety”, Logan said, knowing full well that there was a good chance he was now a werewolf.

“I…I bit you. Aren’t you worried?”, Anxiety asked, his eyes glancing up at Logan before returning to the floor.

“Maybe a little, but you weren’t yourself. You didn’t mean to do this”, Logan reassured the dark trait. Anxiety bit his lip and dared a look to Roman’s door.

“He’s gonna kill me when he finds us”, Anxiety mused. The door looked almost a splintered as Logan’s.

“He won’t he doesn’t have the capacity and we need you around to make Thomas stable. Without you, there’d be no anxiety in Thomas’ life. Roman can’t kill you because Thomas would die without you”, Logan posited, watching the other as he turned his attention back to Logan.

“Not what I meant, but it’s nice to know that”, Anxiety said softly, giving Logan a small smile.

“I am simply postulating that we all would die without you being here. If Roman killed you he’d be killing himself and I don’t think that he’d be able to handle that”, Logan said, smiling at Anxiety.

“Okay, cool…”, Anxiety murmured, standing up when he heard a yell from down the hallway.

“Patton”, Logan muttered, standing up and rushing out the door to check on the optimistic side. Anxiety followed after the other, frowning at Logan’s retreating form.

“Logan, it hurts”, he heard Patton whine. He sighed as he looked into the optimistic side’s room. Roman seemed to be unconscious, lying spread-eagled on the floor. Anxiety’s brows furrowed in confusion, wide eyes wandering the room until they landed on Patton and Logan, sitting on Patton’s bed with a small amount of blood dribbling and staining the blue shirt and cream cardigan the optimistic persona wore.

“What happened?”, Anxiety asked as he walked over to the pair, stepping over Roman’s softly snoring form.

“Patton got bitten by Roman”, Logan explained in a hushed voice as tears streamed down Patton’s face from behind closed eyes.

“Should I get the first aid kit?”, Anxiety muttered, surprised a little when Logan replied with a ‘yes’. Anxiety huffed a little and started down the hallway towards the bathroom. He shoved the chair out of the way and pushed the door open lightly. He looked around at the torn bath mat and shredded towels. He couldn’t remember anything after he turned. He sighed and walked to the cabinet which he opened and dug through until his hand hit something solid and plastic. He felt a smile form on his face as he gripped the kit and pulled it out from the back of the cabinet. He pushed the door shut and trekked his way back to Patton’s room where Logan was gently holding a tissue to the small cuts on Patton’s neck and collarbone. Anxiety handed the kit to Logan who opened the lid and pulled out some gauze and pulled out a small packet of salt, he emptied the packet into a half of a glass of water that had been sitting on Patton’s desk, stirring it to sterilize the wound. The other half was being soaked up and applied to Patton’s wounds in an attempt to clean them. Logan glanced back at Anxiety and watched as his face contorted into a frown at the concoction.

“You never know”, Logan muttered as he took out a cotton ball and dipped it into the salt water solution.

“I thought it had to be hot”, Anxiety murmured, watching as Logan’s hand stopped and he turned to look at the other.

“You’re right. Could you boil some water for me? I’ll bring Patton down and then we can tend to Roman’s condition”, Logan said as he dropped the cotton ball into the bin and moved off the bed to stand. He grabbed Patton’s hand and smiled softly as the other followed him out the door and down the stairs. Anxiety huffed and followed closely behind, stepping over Roman.

 

After the water had been boiled and the saline solution made Logan dabbed a cotton ball in the mixture and smiled as he gently applied the solution to Patton’s wounds. The optimistic persona winced and let out a small whine like a wounded animal. Logan hushed him as he unwrapped the bandage and gently wrapped Patton’s neck. He finished it off with a clip and leaned back to admire his handiwork. Smiling in a self-satisfied manner Logan stood up and stretched.

“Logan…did you get bitten as well?”, Patton asked softly and Anxiety’s head snapped up. He stared at Logan, eyes trailing over the exposed red dots that lined both collarbone and neck of the logical persona. Anxiety shivered a little and let his eyes drift away from the sight and down to his hands. He bit his lip and fiddled with the sleeves of his monochrome jumper.

“Yes, I did. But my bite doesn’t…it didn’t break skin so…”, Logan fumbled for words, for the first time in years he struggled to find the right words to describe something. Patton probably guessed he was lying.

“I still think we should clean it”, Patton said, the wetness of his tears still slipping through into his voice. “Not that you kids have bacteria infested mouths or anything. It’s just…better safe than sorry.”

“It’s fine”, Anxiety muttered, watching Patton’s fingers with a small amount of anger. It wasn’t until Logan flinched in pain that Anxiety snapped a little. He growled low and deep and the two looked at him with worry and concern.

“Anxiety?”, Logan asked softly as the golden eyes of a predator gleamed at the pair.

“Kiddo?”, Patton questioned as the growl rose and Anxiety bolted over the counter with the athletic finesse of a parkour master. In seconds Patton was pushed out of the way and Anxiety towered of the optimistic persona.

“Don’t touch”, Anxiety growled, glaring at Patton as the persona fell back and lay sprawled on the carpet.

“Sorry”, Patton muttered as he backed away and curled up into a ball.

“Now”, Anxiety muttered as he turned to Logan. He felt a sharp pain on his cheek and saw Logan’s eyes flash with fury. Anxiety rubbed his cheek and stared at the floor. He couldn’t wrap his head around what had just happened.

“Patton, are you okay?”, Logan asked as he rushed over to the curled-up trait.

“L-Logan?”, Patton asked in a quivering voice as the other neared him and gently took one of the quivering hands in his.

“Shush, it’s alright”, Logan murmured with a small smile on his face as Patton leaned into him and shivered. Logan nursed the other close and hushed the little whimpers that escaped Patton’s mouth. As the whimpers died and Patton’s body relaxed into sleep Anxiety sat down and stared at the two. Until Logan looked up at him and gave him a hard, cold glare.

“What?”, Anxiety murmured, nursing his bright red, tender cheek.

“We are talking about this later”, Logan whispered angrily, returning his eyes to Patton. Anxiety slumped down and crossed his arms. He knew he’d messed up.


	6. Forever Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakdowns are not fun for anyone involved.

For the first time in years, Logan was truly angry. He paced in front of Anxiety as Roman groused in the background, ice pack over his right, slowly blackening, eye. Anxiety sighed and leaned back into the couch. He bit the inside of his cheek and released it, trying to find something to occupy himself as Logan angrily pace in front of him. He didn’t feel like having an even angrier Logan on his case. He looked around the room and felt Roman’s glare on him. He found Roman’s eye, the uncovered one, and gave him an exasperated eye roll.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that you two”, Logan said and Anxiety’s eyes snapped back to him. Logan tapped his foot and looked down at the dark trait. Anxiety shuffled his shoulders and sunk into the couch even deeper. Logan sighed angrily and turned to Roman, who had his eyes pointing to the ceiling, a poor attempt to make Logan think he had no part in this.

“I will ask once; do either of you have any memory of attacking us?”, Logan asked, pushing the tips of his fingers together and letting them sit inches away from his mouth.

“No”, Anxiety mumbled.

“I attacked you and Patton. My sincerest apologies, but was that any reason to, I don’t know, give me a black eye?!”, Roman asked, voice rising quickly into a yell as he lifted his body to the edge of his seat in anger, ice pack and hand falling away with a dramatic flair. 

“Patton was scared, you tried to attack him and he defended himself. I see no problem with your black eye when Patton feels guilty enough”, Logan said, glaring at the flamboyant persona.

“I scared him?! He scared me! Standing over me with that piece of wood!”, Roman yelled, glaring at the logical side. 

“He was defending himself, don’t try to fool me into thinking that if you were in his position you would have done something differently”, Logan snapped, watching as Roman averted his eyes and grumbled as he sunk back into his seat.

“Why am I here?”, Anxiety asked softly, not wanting to anger Logan more than he already was.

“You’re here because you snapped at Patton”, Logan said coldly and Anxiety had to fight the urge to wince at all the ice in his tone. He felt as if the world had begun to weigh on him more than usual. He bit his bottom lip and opened his mouth to speak.

“I didn’t mean to. I just…whatever, it’s nothing now”, he said, waiting for Logan’s retort. He was surprised when the sound of someone sitting down and a sigh was heard. He glanced up and watched as Logan put his head in his hands, shoulders slumping, back curved over. He looked so defeated. It didn’t suit him. 

“Anxiety”, Logan began, surprising the dark trait yet again, but he cut himself off, saying nothing more as the room descended into silence. 

“Well, this was fun and all, but I must go back to my abode. My reflection must miss me greatly and a duet must be performed”, Roman said nervously, getting up quickly and leaving the two alone.

They sat in silence until Logan rubbed his face and slumped back into the couch, eyes closed. He fingered the indentations in his neck and Anxiety felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Could you at least apologize to Patton?”, Logan asked he sounded broken. Anxiety didn’t like it. 

“Yeah, whatever”, Anxiety huffed, watching a small smile made its way onto Logan’s face. Better, he thought as he felt some weight lift, tension fading with the logical persona’s newfound happiness.

“Thank you”, Logan muttered as he pushed his finger and thumb into the corner of his eyes and rubbed softly. He smiled at the relief it gave and pulled his hand away. He glanced at Anxiety with one eye open and watched the other as Anxiety watched him. “So?”

“So, what?”, Anxiety asked, still a little out of it as he examined Logan’s smile from a distance.

“Are you going to go apologize or do I have to make you go up there?”, Logan asked, smile fading into his usual blank, unfeeling mask.

“Oh, yeah”, Anxiety muttered as he stood and moved to the bottom of the stairs. A happy sigh made him stop halfway up as he turned and watched Logan sink into the couch, a look of bliss on his face. Anxiety felt a smile creep onto his own face as he turned back and climbed the stairs. 

 

“I’m sorry Patton”, Anxiety mumbled after he had knocked on Patton’s door. He listened and waited for a couple of seconds before he heard the thump of feet on carpet coming closer to the door. He stepped back as the door opened and Patton looked at him, glancing away from the dark trait every few seconds. 

“It’s fine. You scared me a lot”, Patton murmured, crossing his arms across his chest and rubbing his forearms. They were quiet for a time, awkwardly stealing glances at each other.

“Sorry, about that”, Anxiety finally said, stepping back.

“Uh, Anxiety”, Patton said as the other turned away and began to walk to his room.

“Yeah?”, Anxiety asked, turning his head and stopping.

“You…uh, you might want to apologize to Logan too. You really scared him”, Patton mumbled as he turned around and shut his door. Anxiety sighed and began to walk again, pondering the words Patton had said. Had Logan really been scared of him? No, he’d never be scared of Anxiety. Apart from Roman, Logan was the bravest persona Anxiety knew, granted he only knew three others apart from himself. Logan being scared, the idea was almost laughable. Begin scared of him, being scared of Anxiety…that wasn’t even…that couldn’t even be…considered. Anxiety stopped and felt dread grip him. He shook his head. Why was he so concerned about how Logan felt about him? It wasn’t like Logan meant more to him than the others. Anxiety muttered curses under his breath as he slammed his door closed and slid down the dark wood to the floor. He rubbed his face with his hands and grimaced as the dark eyeliner under his eyes smudged across his face and hands. He let a cruel smile crawl across his face as Thomas’ body shook with nervousness for a second. He’d figure it out later, Thomas needed to be paid a little visit.

 

Logan sighed as a wave of nervousness washed over Thomas’ body. Anxiety must be taking his anger out on their poor host. Logan felt a twinge of guilt at the idea but quickly squashed it. He let his body drop down lowed into the couch, tension easing out as he relaxed. Until two golden dots danced about in his mind and the image of Anxiety’s enraged, feral expression light up his mind with fear. Logan snapped forward, breathing hard, gulping down the air he needed to live. He gripped his head and pulled at his hair gently, he felt his body tremble and began to try breathing evenly. If the others saw him like this, it’d put them all at a disadvantage. He couldn’t allow his fears to crowd his better judgment. The trembling ebbed and ceased as he calmed himself. His mind raced as he thought of maths equations, physics, biology, chemistry, anything that had a logical explanation. He sighed softly and pushed himself off the couch as Roman rushed into the room Patton at his heels.

“What’s going on?”, Logan asked, watching the pair with curiosity.

“Thomas had a little breakdown. Anxiety says he didn’t cause it so it had to have been one of us. And well…”, Patton broke off.

Roman swallowed and took off from where he left it, “We didn’t cause it. Are you alright?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”, Logan said, trying to keep his body from running away from the inquiring pair. Something in his body was telling him not to stay close to Roman. Telling him to run and not look back. 

Anxiety took this moment to appear in the room with the other three.

“Which of you was it?”, he asked, glaring around the group, eyes landing on Logan before they softened a little and landed on Roman.

“Wasn’t me. I’m far too great to be having a little mental breakdown”, Roman stated indignantly. 

“Sorry, kiddo. I was reading a book when it happened”, Patton said happily as Anxiety’s eyes landed on him. Anxiety rolled his eyes and then focused his attention towards Logan, only to see the other had vanished from sight.

“Where’d he go?”, Anxiety muttered, rubbing his chin in thought.

 

“Thomas, I apologize for your breakdown”, Logan mumbled, embarrassed for his moment of weakness. 

“You caused it. What happened?”, Thomas asked, curious and worried about Logan. 

“I…I regrettably…well the thing is…I…”, Logan murmured, finding the words difficult to process.

“Logan”, Thomas said lightly, smiling at the facet.

“I…I remembered Anxiety’s golden eyes and they cause such fear in me that I can’t even picture them without feeling insecure, scared…terrified”, Logan muttered, rubbing the back of his hand, scratching the skin of his knuckles with his blunt fingernails.

“Oh, Logan…I…I don’t really know what that’s like, but…If you told the others maybe they could-”

“No! I mean, no…I-…I don’t want them to get involved. They have enough to worry about as it is.”

“Logan, I’m sure they’d be able to help you if you asked. They help me all the time and…well, whatever you choose, know that I still want you and need you.”

“Thank you, Thomas. I will continue to do my best. I apologize again for my little breakdown.”

“It’s fine. Just…try to work on it. It’ll get better if you face your fear.”

“I face Anxiety each day, but I cannot say the same about his werewolf form. He does not get angry, furious, on a regular basis. While your theory may be correct, I cannot put myself into that situation every day. It will have a toll on Anxiety and I’d rather not confront him about my fear of his fury.”

“Would you like me to talk to him?”

“No, I don’t think that even that would be able to persuade him to become as angry and furious as he has been the past few days. The next full moon is not for another four weeks or so.”

“Okay, but if you need me you can always come and talk to me.”

“You’re speaking like Patton.”

“I feel like I need to take care of you, is that weird?”

“No, as a human being, one can assume you would want to take care of the logical side of your brain.”

“But it feels more like a dad wanting to provide for his children”, Thomas muttered, looking down at the ground in confusion.

“You have grown attached to us?”, Logan prodded, smiling a little as Thomas looked up at him.

“I don’t think it’s that”, he said, smiling lightly at his logical facet.

“Perhaps it is merely the section of you being werewolf wanting to protect yourself. Meaning your body wants to protect your brain and vice versa”, Logan said, watching as Thomas stood and walked towards the window. 

“Maybe…I guess I’ll think about it”, Thomas muttered, fingers tapping lightly on the cold glass.

“I will return when you need me”, Logan said, disappearing as Thomas sighed, letting his mind go into overdrive thinking about Logan’s theory.

 

“There you are”, Roman said as Logan appeared in the living room. “We were…hey, where are you going?”

“Room, study, night”, Logan said quickly as he walked up to his room and shut the door.

“What’s up with him?”, Roman said as he turned back to Patton and looked at the other with a confused expression.

“No clue”, Patton murmured, worried about the logical facet. “Maybe I should talk to him.”

“That may be a wise choice”, Roman said, looking at the stairs before looking at Anxiety, slumped and sleeping on the couch.

“You sure you don’t want to come?”, Patton asked as he began his ascent up the stairs.

“I’m positive. I’ll wait down here, keep gloomy guts over there company”, Roman said as he sat down heavily on the couch. Sighing as the tension eased from his shoulders. Patton smiled softly as Roman tucked his knees up under his chin and began to nod off. 

“I’ll be back soon”, Patton said softly finishing his walk up the stairs as he hummed. The journey to Logan’s room was quick and uneventful. Patton sighed lightly as he knocked on the door and listened to something fall to the floor. There was some shuffling and running about and then the door opened. Patton looked at Logan and smiled. 

“I assume you want to talk”, Logan said opening his door further to allow Patton to enter. 

“You assume correctly, kiddo”, Patton said happily as he walked in and dodged some misplaced items on his way to Logan’s bed. He sat down and patted the area next to him, still smiling as Logan walked over to him, steps light on the carpet with a practiced elegance only he could muster. 

“What did you come here to discuss?”, Logan asked, sitting next to Patton on his bed. 

“Well,…you disappeared so we looked for you and figured out that you had gone to talk to Thomas. Anxiety wasn’t very happy so we tried to calm him down as much as possible. Poor kid fell asleep on the couch waiting for you to come back. But the real reason I came here is that…well, I want to talk about why you had your little breakdown. What’s wrong kiddo? Can we help in any way?”, Patton asked the concern and worry in his voice thick and heavy. Logan felt guilt crawl up his spine and he shivered slightly, weighing his options out. 

Sighing he began to tell Patton his tale, “I found that I fear something. Something unavoidable. Something I cannot control and will never be able to face. I fear for my life every time I close my eyes because when I open them I do not know if when I open them I will see my fear in front of me. My thoughts haunt me and I can’t stop feeling like at any moment everything could be wrenched away from me.”

“Logan…If you tell me what it is you’re afraid of, I can promise you I will try and make it better. We can deal with this together”, Patton said softly, giving a reassuring smile.

“I…My fear…I’m afraid of Anxiety. More specifically his anger and rage. When I see his eyes go golden…I just can’t anymore…I…I can’t do this”, Logan said letting a whimper slip past his lips as he crumpled in on himself, letting the tears flow freely as Patton pulled him in and cradled him close.

“Hush now. He’d never hurt you. And if he did…well…he’s not being himself…don’t cry…Anxiety would never hurt you, he may not show it but he cares for you, for us…he even cares for Roman. They may fight like cats and dogs on a rainy day but they care for each other”, Patton said, smiling down at Logan.

“I- I just…I fear for my life…every time I see him angry or- or close to the edge I just-”, Logan said tearfully, cutting himself off as coughs and sobs wracked his body.

“I know, I know”, Patton hushed, smiling sadly as Logan began to break down on his chest. He heard a creak outside the door and let his eyes drift up to two pairs of brown eyes watching the Logan and himself from the crack between the door and the doorframe. He gently shook his head and glanced down at Logan, who had yet to notice Roman and Anxiety outside his door. His breathing began to shallow and Patton gripped his shoulder tighter sighing lightly as Logan’s breathing steadied and his eyes began to close. Patton moved the other until he was lying on his bed. With a small frown, Patton lifted himself from Logan’s bed and walked to the door, turning the light off to let the other sleep.

 

“He’s scared of me”, Anxiety said softly, eyes unfocused as he ran a hand through his hair.

“He’ll get over it, kiddo. He just…needs time”, Patton said, looking at Anxiety with a small smile.

“But he’s still scared of me. I-…I mean, I am fear…but, this is still…I just…why? What did I do to deserve this?”, Anxiety questioned, threading his other hand through his hair and tugging as he curled up on the couch and frowned into his knees.

“Nothing, but that’s life”, Roman said, hand supporting his chin as he watched the two from the table. 

“Roman’s right”, Patton said, getting a nod from Roman before he continued. “Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen for no reason and we can’t control them. We can control how we deal with them, however. Work with Logan to solve the problem and it’ll go away right kiddo?”

“Yeah, whatever”, Anxiety murmured from his fetal position on the couch, smiling lightly into his knees. 

“Okay then, now what?”, Roman asked, getting out of his chair and moving to brace his back against the stair railing. 

“We wait for Logan to wake up, but as of right now we sleep. Bedtime kids”, Patton said smiling at Roman as the flamboyant facet grumbled but retreated up the stairs regardless.

“See you in the morning Anxiety”, Patton said softly, moving away and up the stairs to his room. Anxiety closed his eyes and let his knees go, unfolding himself to lay on the couch. Thousands of things raced through his head until he moved and sat up. He sighed as he stood and walked to his room, thinking about the problems this fear could cause.


	7. One Last Howl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If fear can be reasoned with, so can Anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt really bad that I messed up with the chapters, so you can have the last one today as well as the real chapter 4. Enjoy the One Last Howl (previously titled Final Warning) <3

Logan sighed as he opened his eyes and looked at his door. He could hear voices downstairs and didn’t feel like confronting the other facets after yesterday. He pulled his pillow over his head and let out a frustrated growl. He was logic, he didn’t have feelings, he didn’t feel fear, he was just a personification of Thomas’ knowledge, he shouldn’t be able to feel these things he was feeling.  
Tired of his one-sided conversation he got out of his bed and grabbed some clothes. Turning to his door he opened it and moved swiftly to the bathroom to have a shower and clean up any tear stains from the night before.

Finally finishing up he speed walked his way back to his room. He almost jumped when he bumped into something warm and hard. Logan stepped back and muttered a quick apology, walking past the mass and back to his room. He rubbed the back of his head and closed his door, frowning slightly as he decided to work through the stress. He focused on the papers and got to work figuring out Thomas’ problems.

 

Roman sighed softly as Logan walked quickly away from him. They’d been seeing less and less of him over the past week and now he could barely look at them. It was annoying, but also sad. He couldn’t begin to imagine being that scared, being that emotionally drained that even looking at something that was attached or related to his fear would make him break down. He knew he may be a little overdramatic, but…he was worried, scared even, for Logan. He couldn’t know what the logical facet was going through, but whatever Logan felt right now, he must know that Anxiety was beating himself up about the ordeal even more. The dark facet felt guilty about something he couldn’t help. It was just who he was and nothing could change that.

Roman decided that this was the right time to talk to Logan. He might not want to talk to Roman, but they needed to talk.

“Logan?”, Roman asked, knocking lightly on the door and biting his lip in anticipation and nervousness. 

“Yes?”, the logical facet asked back. Roman took this as his cue to open Logan’s door and walk in. He took a seat on Logan’s bed and huffed lightly as Logan continued to work. 

“You’re afraid of Anxiety, I get that. But he feels guilty enough. Can you try to talk to him?”, Roman asked. Logan turned to him and Roman felt like the room had suddenly gotten twelve degrees colder. He swallowed as Logan looked at him, assessing him from the desk chair. 

“Do you know what it’s like to fear for your life?”, Logan asked, turning back around and taking his glasses off. Roman shuffled up the bed and away from the desk. Logan never took his glasses off unless he was really angry or going to sleep.

“N-no”, Roman whimpered, feeling small as Logan turned back to him, eyes ablaze with hidden anger.

“Do you know what it’s like to run from something, growing tired and feeling like you’re dying, knowing that no matter how far you run you will never escape?”

“No, what does this-”

“Do you know what it’s like to lie awake at night, terrified by the prospect of never waking up?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then you don’t know how I fear. I fear for my life. I fear never waking up. I know that Anxiety will not hurt me, but that does not stop the worrying, the fear, the overall stress of my situation.”

“Logan, I just want all this to go away. Can you talk to him, please?”

“When I am ready, I will.”

“When will you be ready?”

“…I’m not sure on the exact date, but it could take hours, days, months, weeks, even years. Fear is not something that can just go away with the flick of a wrist.”

“Oh, okay then…can you…try harder to get over it?”

“You assume that I am not trying my hardest as it is. You have little faith in my competence.”

“What? No, no. I think you’re doing all you can…I just…forget what I said, I was being stupid.”

“Stupidity is not something you lack, that is assured.”

“Hey!”

“But you are kind and worried enough for the other facets of Thomas’ personality to be coming to see me and try to talk me into speaking with Anxiety. You have a good head on your shoulders Roman. Don’t forget that”, Logan said as he turned back to his desk and began working again. Roman smiled at the praise, something like that coming from Logan was rare, even rarer than getting a smile out of Anxiety. He got off Logan’s bed and said ‘goodbye’ as he left the logical facets room. 

Logan smiled as he put his glasses back on and began to work again. Roman wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon and with the mood he was in now, it was unlikely that anyone else would bother him for a long while. 

 

Anxiety frowned as he pulled his hoodie, trying to wrap more of the monotone cloth over his body. He stared at the black screen of the TV and grimaced at his reflection. Cold and dark, like always. He sighed softly and pulled a cushion up to cover his body as much as he could. He heard something upstairs move and he stopped as footsteps drew closer to the stairs. He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes as another door opened and closed, but he tensed when the footsteps began to move down the stairs. He watched as Logan descended the stairs, not seeing the dark facet. He looked even paler than Anxiety, dark smudges like day old bruises under his eyes. 

He looked like hell had washed over him. Like insomnia had become his new roommate. Like he’d never slept a day in his life. Anxiety shivered as he thought back to the last time he had seen the logical facet, a couple of days ago. He hadn’t looked like that or even looked like he was in the beginning stages. 

Anxiety spied a cream-peach smudge on the collar of Logan’s shirt. Concealer. Where would he have gotten…Roman. He had used Roman’s ‘stage makeup’ to cover up his bags and unnatural complexion. 

Logan walked into the kitchen and turned on the light. He looked even worse as the bulb illuminated his face and body. He looked scrawny in an unhealthy way, thin, frail…weak. It scared Anxiety a little to see one of the other facets like this. He looked so lifeless, so dead. He almost got up and walked over to Logan, but he stayed where he was. He watched as Logan rooted through the drawers for something, finally finding a packet of pencils and taking out two or three. He put the packet back in and walked back up the stairs, leaving the light on by mistake. 

Anxiety was worrying even more now. Logan never made little mistakes like that. He always turned off the lights even when he was more than half asleep. Anxiety decided to investigate and got up. He walked into the kitchen and opened the drawer, checking the colours Logan had taken; gold, yellow, black, silver, purple, blue. He wasn’t sure about the last four, but he knew that the gold and yellow would be used to make more pictures of his eyes. 

These stupid eyes. It was all their fault. Logan wouldn’t be so afraid of him if they weren’t a part of him. He would be fine without them. Logan would be fine without them. They’d be fine without them.

Without these eyes Logan and himself could live in harmony. Something in him liked that idea. Just the two of them. Another part of him wasn’t so sure about the idea, but it was small and unimportant to Anxiety. He knew he’d never be able to go through with the idea of taking his eyes out, he didn’t feel that strongly, but he could live with a blindfold. 

He looked through the drawers until he found an old piece of black fabric. He fashioned a blindfold out of it and covered his eyes. He spent who knows how long walking around downstairs, mapping out the rooms in his head. He felt confident enough to walk to the kitchen from the stairs, get a glass of water and sit down on the couch. So, he felt ready, he lay down on the couch, yawned and fell asleep.

He woke up to complete darkness and for a second he panicked before remembering what he was doing. He heard voices and footsteps coming down the stairs. He lay still trying to get his bearings before the facets reached the bottom of the stairs. 

“Anxiety, why do you have a blindfold on?”, a voice asked and Anxiety’s head snapped towards it. His hearing was getting better, but he was worried what would happen when Thomas saw the blindfold. 

“Doesn’t matter”, Anxiety said grumpily as he rubbed his eyes through the fabric.

“Is this to do with Logan, kiddo?”, another voice said Anxiety identified the speech pattern as Patton. Patton to the left, Roman to the right. It might be harder when he had to talk to Thomas. 

“So, what if it does”, Anxiety spat, frowning as best he could and sneering at the area he hoped housed Patton.

“Well, for starters I’m right here”, a voice said. It sounded like it was coming from a few feet in front of him. Logan was here, he was close, he was seeing what Anxiety had done. Did this mean he was forgiven? Probably not.

“Sorry”, Anxiety mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. He heard a sigh and tried to pinpoint it. 

“I would like to apologise for my behaviour earlier. My fear was…irrational and the base to it was weak”, he heard Logan begin to speak, picking out words that the other two would never use. “I also apologise for making you wear this makeshift blindfold. You may remove it anytime you want. I will not stop you, nor will I run. I will face my irrational fear head on.”

Anxiety smiled a little, covered by the darkness and shadows as he untied the knot behind his head. He let the blindfold slip off and immediately regretted it. He closed his eyes as the mental image of Roman wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist burned his heart and mind. He could feel his eyes burn and managed to stifle the growl that had worked its way up his throat. He didn’t like the image and he didn’t think he’d ever get it out of his head.

 

“Must be the light”, Logan murmured as he glanced over at Patton and Roman, entangled in their own little world. He almost wished he could have something like that. Someone who’d hold him together and tell him how they would keep him safe, away from the cruelness of the world. 

He had watched as Anxiety grimaced and closed his eyes, surely having one’s eyes covered for so long and then exposing them to such intense light was not healthy. He considered walking over and attempting to soothe the other facet, but he decided that water would be an optimal preference when Anxiety’s jaw tightened. 

“Let us be on our way”, Logan heard Roman say and as Patton and the other werewolf ascended the stairs a low growl came from Anxiety. Logan breathed deeply as he sat down near the other facet and proceeded to drink from his glass of water.

 

Anxiety felt the growl slip from his throat before he heard it. How dare Roman speak like that. He had half a mind to bite the other werewolf, but he restrained all urges. He opened his eyes and almost jumped off the couch. Logan raised an eyebrow at the startled movement and took another sip from his glass.

“You’re here?”, Anxiety asked, confused. He could swear he saw Logan with Roman just seconds before.

“I am. But Roman and Patton are otherwise…preoccupied with who knows what”, Logan said, glancing at the stairs and unintentionally showing the old bite marks off to the creator. Anxiety swallowed as the guilt welled up again. The marks looked so fresh, like they had been remade only this morning. But he had been here and Roman had been sleeping, so there was no feasible way for Logan to still have such fresh, raw and painful looking marks. 

“Anxiety?”, Logan asked, waving the second glass in front of the werewolf’s face.

“Huh? Oh, thanks, I guess”, Anxiety said reluctantly as he took the glass and drank the water swiftly. 

“Is something the matter?”, Logan asked eyebrow raised as Anxiety avoided eye contact with him. 

“It’s just…the marks look so fresh and raw and painful and…and I thought you were with Roman, and…and…”, Anxiety trailed off, biting his lip as he fumbled with his words. This was so unlike him, Logan would laugh for sure.

“The bite is still rather painful. If I move too quickly it can ache for some time, but apart from that I don’t know why it looks the way it does. As for Roman, he and Patton have some things they need to talk about. He gave Patton quite the scare a few nights ago with his silver eyes and all”, Logan said, smiling lightly at the ground.

“So, you and Roman aren’t…”

“Oh, no. He and I are not compatible in the least. I feel he would much prefer Patton who is much closer to a classical princess than I could ever be. He is so kind and pure it is rather blinding at times, no?”, Logan chuckled, turning his smile to Anxiety.

“Y-yeah, he’s really good to us”, Anxiety acknowledge, smirking as he fiddled with the glass.

“I must ask though, why did you bite me?”, Logan asked, turning his eyes back to the floor once more. 

“Well…I didn’t really have a say in the matter. Being in wolf form it’s like…like being asleep. You don’t have any control or awareness until you begin to transform back”, Anxiety said, frowning at the glass in his hands. 

“I see. So, you are not to blame. It’s good to know you were not in control, now I will be able to put up the right barriers for the next full moon.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will stay in my room, Roman in Patton’s. Patton and I will sleep down here. It appears that our individual scents may calm the werewolf inside both you and Roman. If you are subjected to a room that smells familiar then perhaps the wolf will calm down and remain docile.”

“You think it will work?”

“It is a theory. If my hypothesis is proved true then I can assume you bit us out of a want to keep us close. Natural for many living things. If one wants to remain calm and safe then there is a preference to holding onto what may be considered safe. For Roman it appears he feels most safe with Patton, while you appear to feel most safe with me.”

“Heh, what happens if your theory isn’t correct?”

“I will return to my bedroom at the risk of whatever your wolf may do to me. We must find out how your wolf and Roman’s wolf think, otherwise we may never be safe from this werewolf that haunts us.”

“Y-you can’t be serious…you’d risk being mauled for science…”, Anxiety said in disbelief as Logan took the glass and walked into the kitchen.

“Yes, if it means keeping the rest of you safe then I will do it”, Logan said as he walked back out of the kitchen. Anxiety felt anger rise up, but it died quickly as Logan flinched. Anxiety sighed and grabbed his head. Logan couldn’t really be considering this. He couldn’t…Anxiety wouldn’t let him.

“Logan, I can’t let you do that”, Anxiety said firmly.

“You have no control over yourself during full moons. Is it not best to test out my hypothesis before we argue over what to do next?”, Logan asked, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Even if your theory is right”, Anxiety began, standing up and walking up to Logan so he was only a couple of inches from the other facet. “I won’t let you injure yourself for others.”

“Anxiety, you don’t know what it could be like. You may even enjoy my company. If you will not allow me to enter my own room with you then I will spend the night with Roman.”

Anxiety growled and his eyes flashed gold for a second.

“You wouldn’t…”, Anxiety growled, trailing off at the idea of Roman spending time alone with Logan. The possibility of Roman mauling Logan, hurting him or worse...the possibility of them enjoying each others company.

“I can and I will if I must”, Logan said, setting his shoulders and crossing his arms over his chest in defiance.

“Argh. You’re so frustrating, okay you win. You can spend the night with me in your room if you have to”, Anxiety said, letting out a tired sigh as he turned back to the couch and collapsed into the soft fabric.

“Thank you, Anxiety. We will see where this leads, I suppose”, Logan said with a smile as he disappeared up the stairs. Anxiety groaned into the couch pillows. It was going to be one heck of a month.


End file.
